Almost going to bed now, just figured that it's fine time for one blog post before I go into my dreamland. Considering that, it's been so long and if I don't post a post now, I will probably be thought as having died.
Anyway, weather's getting warmer and spring is coming, really, this time. Forecast says that tomorrow will be a rainy day, but I am hoping and praying that it will be a sunny day again like today. Sometimes, it really makes me wonder, if our moods should follow the climate so much?
Climate is a very odd thing, you can have proper weather climate, but you can also have climate of people around you. And really, mood is affected by either of them, more so the latter. In psychiatry, we use weather and climate as an analogy for affect and mood. But, is it actually good to allow your own 'climate' to be affected by that of other people? Hard question, because you sometimes want to understand what people close to you are going through, but you also want to be able to detach yourself from it when it becomes too overwhelming.
Life is always so contradictory huh? We want something, but we don't want it as well. It's like how you can want chili because it gives you the excitement in taste, and yet do not want it, because of the pain it gives. Before you start wondering, NO, I am not emo-ing. LOL. It's just a sudden fascination with emotions and thoughts of people around me that I have become rather hypersensitive to lately.
But, anyhow, I think I have failed, as a friend, in quite a number of occasions, in the past, and at present. I chose to run away, not because of what others may perceive as responsibility, but because I am so afraid to allow myself to sink into what someone is going through. To all who have in different occasions where I ran away instead of lending a shoulder, I apologize. I apologize for not being there to comfort. I apologize for running away in spite of knowing how low or how much you needed a pat on your back.
Anyway, that's enough for reflection. To my dear friends who still read this blog, (and Foo, you're still very elusive as a blogger and a facebook-er huh?), I am fine. Looking forward, eagerly, to the moment I will set foot again on Malaysian soil, although I think most of us have already been dispersed to the many corners of the world.
Okay, that's it for now, haha. =D A very very short update, alright, my exams are in 4 weeks, 2 reports to hand in in 1-2 weeks, and 1 month away from Malaysia. That's about it, I guess, minus the many many things that happened throughout the semester, but that will be for another day.
